Dancing Hearts Blog

Beyond Doing – How to “Be” A Good Dog Mom

As dog moms (and humans), we’re programmed to focus on ‘doing.’ We ask ourselves what should we do when our dog does this or that? We become so fixated on ‘’doing’ that we forget to pay attention to the other part of who we are as human BEINGS.

The ‘being’ side of being human embodies our intention of who and how we want to be. Let me put it this way….

What we do is directly informed by how we are being.

This is the thread that weaves through everything I teach inside the Brilliant Partners Academy. It’s this concept that who we are being directly informs what we do that takes the throne as the underlying partnership principle that connects to every other part of being a good dog mom.

“What we do is directly informed by how we are being.”

Everything that leads to you achieving a brilliant partnership with your dog starts with intention and the being side of you. Even if I handed over the exact do’s that you need to ‘create the perfect dog’ who never misbehaves, you won’t see the level of results you expected.


Well, it’s because how your dog responds to what you do and the results you’ll get is directly impacted by who you are being when you are doing.

If you really want to connect with your dog and share a loving partnership lifestyle with them, you need to start at the beginning….


Heart Connections

Everything begins with your heart. Your heart is your core, and, in a way, it embodies the essence of who you are as a human being.

Most (if not all) our desires originate in our hearts. Yes, you may think about those things with your mind but the flame that gets that fire going sparks in the heart first. Our brain carries out the desires of our heart. At least, that’s how I like to think about it.

I often talk about the concept of heart connections. Learning how to be a brilliant and loving partner for and with our dogs starts with making a heart to heart connection.

A big part of this is understanding your heart’s desires. What do you value? What qualities are important to you? Getting in touch with your heart’s desires will help you to consciously be more attentive to your intentions. It can help you to become the human that you want to be. Finally, it can help you to take better control over what you put out into the world, including the desire you have to offer partnership and a real loving heart connection for and with your dogs.


Trust your heart

Whenever we have a heart’s desire, our brains are quick to jump in and talk us out of it with logical thinking (hate it when that happens, don’t you?). But you have to be strong. You have to try to stay out of your brain and take inspiration that comes from your heart.

This is obviously easier said than done. How can you tell when your heart is speaking vs your brain?

Well, when ideas or inspiration comes from our heart, it tends to be instantaneous. It’s like a fleeting moment of magic and if you don’t reach out and grab it, it can fade away just as easily.

Our brains, on the other hand, work differently. You can tell an idea is from your head when it’s slower. It takes its time and loops around. It’s much easier to catch these ideas because they aren’t going anywhere fast.

So, when you’re contemplating and asking yourself the following questions that I’m going to give you, I need you to trust your heart. You’ll read the question and it’ll suddenly prompt a thought from your heart. It’s up to you to capture it. I suggest grabbing a notebook or journal and take note of your answers so that you can reflect on them later and maybe come back to them when you need a reminder.

Be careful though! Your logical brain will try to filter, analyze, dismiss, and edit your answers. Don’t let it! This is between you and your heart. Your brain can take time out for now.

“Our hearts are strong drivers and we can look to our hearts wisdom and clues for who we are.”

Remember to write down your very first answer before your brain tries to take over with logical thinking. Let your heart lead the way.


Exercise 1: Contemplation Questions

  1. What are three things that you love about your dog?
  2. What are three things that you love about your relationship/partnership with your dog?
  3. What are three things that you love about your life together with your dog?
  4. What are three things that you feel proud of (successes, accomplishments, happy experiences, etc.) relating to your dog?

All done! That was really simple, right?

The purpose of this mini contemplation exercise is to help you reach that state of being where you’re in a place filled with love and kindness. Thinking about what you love generates a domino effect in your body and mental state.


The Law of Resonance

When you think about things that make you happy, your whole being starts to mimic the positive energy levels as they rise to meet the higher vibrational level of love that you’re feeling. It sounds complicated, but it’s really simple. Good, happy, loving, and positive thoughts from the heart leads to good, happy, loving, and positive thoughts in the mind.

There’s a frequency to emotions. One of the higher frequency emotions is love, which can change your vibration and change our frequency too. So, by redirecting your thoughts and focusing on things you love about your dog, you can change your entire being to something positive, happy, and calm.

Whatever we think about the most and spend the most time and energy within becomes our experience.

This is the basics of the law of resonance. Thankfully, we have the ability to adjust the frequency of energy because it is chosen by us. We are in control. We can create a different frequency by doing something as simple as thinking about what you love the most about your dogs and your life and so on.

“Energy flows where focus goes.”

This leads me to the second mini exercise I want to share with you…


Exercise 2: Role Models

I want you to look at a dog person that you admire. Someone who has a dog (or many dogs) and you admire how they live with their dogs. It doesn’t have to be someone who is ‘famous’ – it can be someone in your personal life.

Whatever the case may be, this is a dog person that you would love to emulate. They are your role model for how you want to be and live with your dog.

Now…I want you to write down three dog people that you admire.

Next, take each of them and write down three qualities that each possess (in relation to their dogs) that you admire. Some examples might include patience, loyalty, energetic, passionate, funny, courageous, kind, and so on.

Take your time with this exercise, there’s no rush. It’s also okay to repeat the same qualities for different people if you notice similar qualities that you admire in more than one person.

When you’re ready, look over the qualities that you wrote down and identify the ones that you resonate with the most. Circle those qualities or pull them out and write them down on a fresh page.

Doing this will help you realize what qualities you admire and how you want to be as a person. Next, take your shortlist of heart values and qualities and build a core value declaration around each quality.

For example, if one of the qualities you admired about someone that you resonate with is respectful, that then becomes a declaration of how you can be more respectful towards your dog. You’ll begin to be more respectful of your dog’s, feelings, needs and desires.


Exercise 3: Digging a little deeper

If you want to dig a little deeper and tap into your dog’s perspective more, this next exercise is for you.

Getting out of our heads and considering who we want to be and how we want to be with our dogs is so important. It’s something that I teach members of the Brilliant Partners Academy and it’s a critical step towards building an incredible, loving partnership with our dogs.

So, let’s start this exercise by identifying basic connection times with your dog.

Here are some questions to ask yourself and again, you can write these down so that you can reflect on them later.

  1. What are three times that you felt a close connection with your dog?
  2. What are three times that you felt a real partnership with your dog?

Once you have your answers, try to feel that close connection that you have with your dog. Let the feeling take over until you feel the vibration of your body change.

The next step is to imagine the following from your dog’s perspective:

  1. What does your dog love the most about your partnership?
  2. What qualities does your dog value in a human partner and companion?

Now, imagine how your dog might love you to express those qualities in your life together.

What can you do to make your dog feel loved, safe, calm, and happy?

Thinking about these things from your dog’s perspective will influence how you move through life with your dog. Begin to intentionally choose to BE a certain way. Maybe you’ll start to embody the qualities we talked about in the previous exercise and pair them with the qualities your dog needs in a loving companion.

This is how you can build a loving partnership with your dog. I hope that these prompts help you to take the first step towards becoming the person you want to be and the partner you want to be for your dog.

Don’t forget to grab your FREE ‘Stuck at Home Survival Guide for Dog Moms’ – a downloadable PDF packed with lots of helpful tips to help you survive being stuck at home with your dogs (even if they’re driving you crazy and you’re feeling stressed out!)

If you’d like to work with me and learn how to create a partnership lifestyle for you and your dog, you can request an invitation to join us in the Brilliant Partners Academy when the doors open for the next enrolment!

You can listen to everything I talked about in this blog post over on my podcast – Enlightened By Dogs. It’s episode 104, which you can listen to here.

Watch a short video trailer of the episode below:

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