Enlightened by Dogs Podcast

EBD241: Healing Our Reactivity Loop with Marika Bertram [part 2]

Trauma, stress, and anxiety can take a toll on both you and your dog. Understanding how these emotions affect your body can help relieve feelings of guilt and shame, and pave the way for healing in your relationship with yourself and your dog.

This is part 2 of Kathy’s interview with Marika, a Dancing Hearts Certified Partnership Coach.

In this episode, Marika will help us understand the importance of letting our bodies feel in order to achieve healing and begin to heal the relationship with ourselves, which is the most important relationship we have.

Marika also talks about the effect of regular exercise on our bodies to allow us to feel a sense of peace and discusses some important details on our vagus nerve, which is our muscle that will help us to be more resilient when things get tough and the stress level gets high.

Learn more about Marika in her bio below.

Marika Bertram offers unique behavior and relationship consulting for dog families with a focus on holistic heart-centered coaching, that will teach you the art of dog listening so that you can communicate with your dog on a deeper level and enjoy a well-behaved dog without obedience training!

Website links: www.revyk9.com, Facebook and Instagram is ‘The Dog Listener.’ I offer in-person and virtual programs that vary from 2 kickstart sessions to 6-month programs for the full foundation and support through your journey of transformation with your dog.

In this episode:

  • Healing our reactivity loop
  • Feel it to heal it
  • Begin to heal a relationship with yourself


“The why behind it, or the why I act like this is really, I think, the first beneficial thing to understand to help you to heal.”

“You need to feel it to heal it.”

“So if we’re not letting our bodies feel, if we’re just suppressing things, and distracting ourselves when we have that feeling in our body, then we can’t heal. We’re essentially running away from it because that feels safer for our bodies than actually feeling pain.”

“And that’s the normal thing to do until we become aware that it’s actually not helping us in the long run. And there’s a better way to deal with it.”

“Once I knew more information about how trauma, stress, and anxiety affect our body and how we didn’t really have much control over it, it relieves that guilt for me, and the blame and the shame. And it started to allow me to begin to heal my relationship with myself.”

“If we can’t accept ourselves or forgive ourselves, then we really can’t help those around us.”

“We really have to put our own oxygen mask on first to be able to assist those around us. And that’s what this comes down to, is acceptance of it’s okay where we are. And I now know better, so I can do better.”

“So what can start to heal this relationship is by accepting these feelings that our body and the overwhelm that we’re feeling the trigger, it’s there for a reason. It’s to keep us safe. It’s to protect us, and actually to help us heal.”

“Instead of paying attention to the feeling in our body, and listening, so it feels heard, we want to give it love and acceptance. So it feels that connection is craving.”


Become a calm and confident Dog Mom with a cooperative, happy dog … without obedience training, or relying on treats or arousing games, or corrections of any type.

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